CryForAShadow.Com

WELCOME

Hi, I'm Beth. I love The Beatles, The Who, Monty Python, and the color pink. I hate my job, I hate my apartment, and I'm poor, but hey...I have character. Yeah. I discuss all these things, as well as my triumphs, my failures, and my obsession with music. Try not to get too attached.

THE END OF THE WORLD

Tuesday, 24 June 2008 |

Shortly before leaving for work, I happened to glance out the window. What I saw was so odd (even for a Freaky Weather Veteran, as any native Ohioan is), I felt compelled to take a video for proof.

I'm going to be working on a bunch of new stuff in the next week or so. I'll probably slap together a new layout, too. I'm sort of over the dark gray, and want to give the site a brighter, sunnier look. I'd like to say it's because I want it to match my mood, but that would be lying. Let's say I want to create a layout that will inspire a more cheerful outlook. That sounds alright.

ETA: Um...new layout...? Content removed to edit/rewrite.

Whatever it is, most of the site is going to be rewritten when I get the layout done. And, you know, new shit. So that's cool.

I accidentally found myself in a heated debate with one of my coworkers, today. Heated on his side, since I didn't really give a damn about the position I was taking. I think I just like to play devil's advocate sometimes when I see someone feels passionately about something that doesn't really matter in the least.

The debate was over George Carlin. More specifically, a talk radio host that chose the day after Carlin's death to listen to his past material and dissect it's comedic worth. He apparently (I say "apparently" because I didn't hear the show myself) went on an on about how Carlin wasn't really that funny, his jokes sucked, etc.

My coworker took the stance that this was wrong to do, since he had just died. He thought they were cheap shots, and should leave well enough alone. I took the opposing viewpoint, i.e. just because someone dies doesn't mean no one is allowed to talk shit about them anymore, especially if they're famous -- and anyway, it's a RADIO SHOW. In Cleveland. In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter what one jackass says on the radio?

He was getting really upset, so finally I just asked, "What did he say, specifically?" and then pretended like that changed everything and agreed with his original stance. If I actually believed strongly in this, I wouldn't have backed down for shit. I knew I was right, but again, Cleveland radio host, so I didn't give a damn if he won.

It was still a really interesting discussion. I'm always fascinated by the weird stuff people get worked up over. I'm the same way, I suppose, but then, when it's me, the stupid stuff is important, so I'm not going to see it for what it is.

YOU NEVER REALLY LEARN TO SWEAR UNTIL YOU DRIVE

Monday, 23 June 2008 |

George Carlin died Sunday at the age of 71. Heart failure. This is really depressing. He's always been one of my favorite comedians.

DISORGANIZED LIFE UPDATES

Thursday, 19 June 2008 |

Allison is back from Europe! I'm glad she had that experience, but I've missed her, and I'm just happy (and relieved) that she's back safe and sound, if a little tired and jetlagged. I can't wait to see all her photos. I know her skill, and I know her artistic eye, so I'm expecting some amazing shots.

I recently found out there's a HDN show this Saturday in Brecksville. Allison's making an appearance, she's bringing Jon, and nothing will prevent me from going. I'll finally be able to make use of the new camera! I know I used it for my sister's graduation, but part (or most) of the reason I got it was so I could finally take some decent concert photos. I've always had an interest in concert photography. Anyway, I'm spending Saturday night at Allison's so I can hear all about her trip.

Expect a new photo gallery up next week! And probably some videos as well. Actually, expect two, since I still haven't gotten around to uploading all the photos from Steph's graduation. I might wait to do that one until her graduation party at the end of July, though. I'm not sure if I should combine the two or post them separately.

I've got a week of vacation coming up next month. Exciting! I can't even begin to express how much I need it. I just hope our store review doesn't come until I'm on vacation. I'd rather not be present for that miserable display of our inaptitude. I'm crossing my fingers that I don't get stuck (for the FOURTH TIME IN A ROW) being the manager on duty when Review Lady shows up. I'd have an effing breakdown.

I should probably do something with the Beatles site. I feel bad for neglecting it, but I've been kind of busy. I don't have any free time this weekend, and I don't have another day off until next Saturday, so it may be awhile before I can put any serious effort into updating. I don't think anyone else really cares at the moment, anyway. The site's been kind of neglected by everyone, not just the webmaster.

I have a couple ideas for content here, though. This site's content usually take less time and effort, so I'll probably use my spare minutes to work here.

SMARTER THAN A WORD GAME?

Thursday, 12 June 2008 |

So I was having a good time on Facebook playing a word game. I have a decent score from an early session, and am having trouble beating it. You know why?! Because it keeps turning down my real words. It's not a "slang" word game, just a word game.

Apparently, "daunt" is not a word, but "rad" is perfectly acceptable? I tried it twice because I thought I might have misspelled it, but no. No, they just don't accept daunt as a real word. I actually second-guessed my own intelligence in favor of this ridiculous word game, and went to check a dictionary. Yes, "daunt" is a real word. So is "rad," although I'm sure the makers of this game don't recognize it as a unit of energy, just as something super, super awesome (like their r-tard game!).

The purpose of these games, I assume, is to get young people to increase their vocabulary, and actually use their brain for something besides bullshit AIM sessions filled with obnoxiously cute internet shorthand. I like playing games like this because I do find it stimulating and fun (yes, I'm a nerd. Deal.), but when my ACTUAL words are turned down for fucking SLANG, I get annoyed.

If I wanted to feel like any more of an old curmudgeon, I'd (hand)write an angry letter to the makers of this game.

I AM AWESOME

Monday, 09 June 2008 |

I totally got a job offer from one of my dine-in customers tonight -- a real one, not as a joke. WTF?! How awesome is that? I'm actually thinking about taking it.

Also, she tipped me $10.

FOREVER YOUNG

Sunday, 08 June 2008 |

I went to my sister's graduation ceremony yesterday. I didn't get teary-eyed, and I prevented my mother from crying (as she warned me she might do) by making ridiculous and rude comments throughout. I took a ton of pictures and video, most of which turned out well.

I realized today how I feel more emotion over losing these kids than I ever did (or ever will) about my graduating classmates. I loved so many of these people, and I'll probably never see most of them ever again. I felt the same sadness when my brother graduated (a year ahead of me), because I had some good friends in his class. I had friends in my class, but I was happy to get out, and haven't regretted losing contact with anyone.

I will most definitely miss a lot of the people I knew in my sister's class. I suppose since I was so miserable in my experience, I have to live vicariously through my siblings' high school careers.

My sister looked lovely, as always, and I did get photos/video of several of her friends. I wish I had been able to spot more people afterwards, because I would have loved to get a last photo with/of them. I'll just have to make sure to have my camera ready at all times when her graduation party arrives!

GIMME AN EFFING BREAK!

Thursday, 05 June 2008 |

So I found out yesterday that the new manager that was just transferred to our store (we lost a great AGM in the process) might not be with us long. Yeah. She came to our store after being on medical leave for more than a month, and apparently...still sick. Sooo glad the DM let us know that before sticking us with her. If she needs to go back on leave, or just, you know, quit, we'll be short one manager. That means I'll be stuck back on five-a-week closes! AWESOME!

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

I hate closing five nights a week. I've told them multiple times I hate it, but they still schedule me that way. The other shift manager "can't work nights" because he's "in school." Since I have an open schedule, I don't have a husband, I don't have a baby, and I'm not trying to further my education, I get the shit shifts. I'm punished for basically making this store my first priority in life. To be fair to the GM, he didn't hire the other shift, and he told me he'd never have hired a manager that didn't have an open schedule.

At any rate, when we got the new manager, she was willing to share closes, so I was going to be let off the five-a-week hook. Not anymore. I'm thrilled.

The upside to her leaving is that it might force the GM to make my promotion more of a priority. I'd still be closing every effing day, but hey, at least I'd be able to pay my bills on time!

HOPE MY BOYFRIEND DON'T MIND IT

Tuesday, 03 June 2008 |

I have a major hetero crush on Katy Perry. I love her voice, I love her lyrics...she's fabulous. You should also love her, for the reasons I've given.

Download "I Kissed A Girl" and "Ur So Gay." Both songs = fantastic. Or you could check out this video (be prepared to fall in love):

HOW TO BE AN ASSHOLE CUSTOMER #2

Monday, 02 2008 |

I had this customer last night. He was such an unbearable asshole, I had to post.

"Thank you for calling Pizza Restaurant, will this be for pick-up or delivery?"
"Neither, this is a complaint."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. How can I help you?"
"Yeah, I ordered chicken strips with barbecue sauce, and I just got my food, and there's no sauce."
"I'm sorry about that, sir. That seems to have been a mistake of the person who made your chicken, I'm very sorry. But I--"
"Yeah, that's fine that you're sorry and I can see that it's a mistake, but that doesn't help my situation."
"...OK. I would be more than happy to have someone deliver those sauces for you right away."
"No, I want a credit."
"OK, no problem. [enters credit into system] Alrighty, I've got a credit for the sauces in there--"
"Well that doesn't seem like it's enough."
"...OK, sir, how much would you like to me to put in there for you?"
"[angry pause] Well now I don't know! That shouldn't be my job, um, my decision! If you're gonna be like that! I tell ya, you're about to lose a good customer!"
"I'm sorry, sir, I'm honestly not trying to 'be like' anything, I just want to make sure you receive the credit you want."
"Well it shouldn't be my choice!"
"OK...how about $10? Is that good?"
"[angry flustered noises] Well I think I should get a free order of chicken...for the inconvenience!"
"No problem, I'll enter that into your account for you."
"Fine."
"OK, it's all set. And I'm sorry again about the inconvenience."
"Yeah. Bye."

FUCKING. ASSHOLE. I tried to give him what he wanted, and he said I was being "like that." Like what? FUCKING HELPFUL?!

Only an ASSHOLE CUSTOMER would demand $20 worth of chicken for $1 worth of missing sauce. That's a 2000% increase to ease the pain of your saucelessness. Can you not eat chicken without sauce? There was nothing wrong with the chicken, right?! Then why do you deserve a credit for free chicken? I hope he doesn't call tonight, because I will have a lot of trouble not verbally bitch-slapping him.

I'm not trying to be insulting to any people who read this blog, but he had this southern hick accent. I have no problems with people from the South, people with southern accents, etc. but THIS IS OHIO. WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE FROM GEORGIA?! I hate Ohioans who think they need to talk like a hick. There is NO REASON.

People like this make me hate ALL people. Rude, selfish assholes who treat me like garbage, act like I'm not human, because I'm working at a restaurant. It's not my fault you didn't get sauce. People make mistakes. And for you to brush off an honest apology is just asshole behavior.

Take some advice from me, everyone. Next time you're about to chew out a waitress, or a cashier at McDonald's, take a second and think to yourself, "Would I want to be spoken to this way for making a mistake?" If you don't work in food, fine. I'm not asking you to put yourself in their position. I'm just saying, next time you make a mistake, in any part of your life, think how shitty it would be if someone started screaming at you, insulting you, or disregarding everything you say.

In other words, DON'T BE A FUCKING ASSHOLE TO PEOPLE IN FOOD SERVICE. What good does it do you?

HOW TO BE AN ASSHOLE CUSTOMER #1

Saturday, 31 May 2008 |

A) Call restaurant and order one sub. Hang up.

B) Call back five minutes later and add another sub to order. Yell at employee because you claim you ordered two in original call, when you in fact did not. This brings your order to three subs. Hang up.

C) Call back two minutes later and add a pizza to your oder. Hang up.

D) Call back two minutes later and add yet another pizza to your order. Hang up.

E) Call back two minutes later and hang up when employee answers.

F) Have one of your coworkers (you're calling from work, naturally) call back two minutes later and add a stromboli to the order. Except she insists we ring it up separately so she can charge her stromboli to her credit card. Hang up.

This happened to me tonight. This person called six times in less than fifteen minutes, adding one item to her order each time. Really? Really?! Why wouldn't you just talk to your coworkers before calling to see what everyone wanted? In the end, the order took longer to make because I wasn't given a chance to make anything with the phone ringing every two minutes.

This is just one of many ways to be an asshole customer.

I HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS

Friday, 30 May 2008 |

I spent around two weeks working on a Quotes page. The vast majority of that time was going through my iTunes and picking out favorite song lyrics. I've still got to work on other portions of the page, but the lyrics were important to me.

I should probably be spending my time doing something more constructive. Oh well.

BOOKS ARE GOOD

Wednesday, 28 May 2008 |

I decided I needed something different to read, so I went to the mall and picked up a few books at the store I used to work for. For six years. Happily, I saw one of the women I used to work with, and she gave me the employee discount. Score!

I purchased High Fidelity on a recommendation from Angie, who assured me it was even better than the film (Note: I'm about six pages in, and already feel justified in the buy. Love it.). I also bought Bleak House which I've read before, but loved and felt the need to add it to my already sizeable Dickens collection. And finally, I saw a collection of 100 NYT Sunday crosswords for $10 and just couldn't say no. I don't get the paper, am too lazy and cheap to buy it every Sunday just for the crossword, and don't get the same satisfaction doing them online (it's too easy to cheat!). Again, I felt justified in my purchase.

I feel no guilt whatsoever about these purchases, and I refuse to feel guilty in future. So there.

I DON'T WANNA FACE IT

Monday, 26 May 2008 |

My aunt is dying. She's been battling cancer for a few years, but the cancer has won. My mother and another aunt are flying out to California this week to either help her travel back to Ohio to spend her remaining days surrounded by family, or if she isn't able or willing to fly...to be there with her when she dies. I was never close to this aunt, since she's lived in California almost my entire life, and rarely visited. But she's family, and I'm hurting. Obviously.

This is forcing me to think about the inevitable future when aunts and uncles and cousins, all of whom I am close to and love dearly, will pass away. I have more than a dozen aunts and uncles, I still have living grandparents, and I've got more than twenty cousins. My adult life will be filled with death. I don't know how I'll be able to stand it.

I know death is a part of life, but it's the one part of life I've never been able to come to terms with.

PORK AND BEANS

Saturday, 24 May 2008 |

Check out the video for Weezer's new song, "Pork And Beans":

It features a ton of people made infamous by viral videos. I was excited to see Kelly ("Those shoes are mine, betch!") in there. That's one of my all-time favorite videos. I still laugh every time I see it. Is it sad that I recognize almost every person and/or reference in this video? I spend too much time on YouTube.

I have to get the new Weezer album. You probably should, too. Another self-titled (this time, "Red") album, it hits stores June 3rd. Can't wait!

PLACATING THE BEAST

Saturday, 24 May 2008 |

Three days after I have a complete meltdown at work, they inform me that I'm being promoted. Does anyone else find this hilarious? You'd think I'd be shortlisted for termination. Instead, the district manager wants to set up a meeting to discuss short- and long-term goals to get me trained up for a promotion ASAP.

Either they realize my skills and value, and don't want to lose me, or they're afraid if they don't promote me I'll shoot the place up.

In site news, I spent about six hours the other day creating a list of my favorite songs. I went through my iTunes playlist twice (keep in mind, I have 4000 mp3s) to get the current list -- which contains more than 700 songs -- and still have go comb through it again, because I thought of a bunch of songs today that I forgot to add.

A normal person doesn't have 700 favorite songs. But when have I ever claimed to be normal?

TAKE THIS JOB AND FORCIBLY INSERT IT INTO YOUR ANUS

Thursday, 22 May 2008 |

On Tuesday I went into work in a great mood. That was my first mistake. By the end of the night, I was exhausted, miserable, pissed off, and *thisclose* to putting in my two weeks. I won't go into details, but I did take this photo just before I left. Pardon my odd facial expression and ugliness. I had just spent the last several hours digging myself out of numerous crises, working my ass off, and attempting to do the job of three people:

There are things about my job I really love. I usually enjoy the employees, the customers, and the food. That night, all were giving me trouble. It's nights like this that make me wish I ~~were dead~~ had a different occupation.

I think its time to start looking around for other opportunities.

WHEN ANIMALS WANT TO ATTACK

Monday, 19 May 2008 |

I'm afraid of raccoons. I didn't realize I was afraid of raccoons until I began working at my current job. There are dumpsters we have to take our trash out to, and the raccoons love it. During the day, they avoid scrounging around in there, because of all the people in the parking lot. But at night...it's a different story. They are kings of the dumpster. They crawl around inside, climb on top, and creep around inside the gated area in which the dumpsters are housed.

Imagine being exhausted after a busy night. You bring the trash out before going home, open up one of the dumpsters, and a hissing monstrosity leaps out at you, and lands at your feet. That's happened to some of my coworkers -- but not to me, because I won't go near there at night. I throw the bags over the gate and run to my car.

Tonight, I went out back for a cigarette because we slowed down after about 10pm. I saw a single raccoon crawling out of one of the dumpsters. Some idiot had left the gate open, making it a hundred times easier for the raccoons to get in. Damn. So I'm watching him. I decided to take a picture. I bring out my camera, but the sound of tearing velcro as I open the carrying case causes the raccoon to run behind the gate.

I shrug, and bend my head to light my cigarette. When I look back up, the little bastard is just pulling his hind legs over the gate as he climbs on top of the dumpster. He stares at me without moving. I stare back. I'm afraid if I look away, he'll attack. Without breaking eye contact, I reach into my pocket for my camera. Luckily I have the flash turned off, so I manage to snap a picture without making him run. Keep in mind, I had the 4x zoom set, because there was no way I was getting within fifty feet of that little shit.

I continue to stare, occasionally taking a picture. He doesn't move. I walk over to the cigarette container to toss the butt in. He thinks I'm coming at him and runs, but a few seconds later, he climbs back up. I smile, but continue to be suspicious of him. I'm sure he's going to run at me any second.

Suddenly, I see something moving out of the corner of my eye to the right of the dumpsters. I look over, and see a freaking DEER staring at me. I don't know how long he's been watching me, but I know I need to get a picture. I pull out my camera, and just manage to get a picture as he's turning to run.

I stare after him in amazement, hoping he'll show the same bravery as the raccoon and reappear. He does not, so after another minute, I walk back inside.

What a weird moment.